Billy Crystal recalled the late comedian Milton Berle punching him on two separate occasions, joking that he “may be the last one alive to know Milton Berle stories”
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“This was a man who sold more television sets — Milton was Mr. Television for a reason,” the actor and comedian said of Berle’s legacy
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The former Texaco Star Theatre host died in 2002 at age 91
Billy Crystalhas nothing but fond memories of Milton Berle — even if some of them were painful.
While joking that he “may be the last one alive to know Milton Berle stories” during an April 15 appearance onThe Late Show with Stephen Colbert, theWhen Harry Met Sallyactor, 78, recounted two separate occasions in which the lateTexaco Star Theatrehost slapped him across the face.
On one occasion, Crystal found himself on a panel with Berle andCarl Reineron what would be the final episode ofTonight Starring Steve Allen.
"I sat in between the two of them, these two bookends, the giants of television," he toldStephen Colbert. “This was a man who sold more television sets — Milton was Mr. Television for a reason. He helped kill the movie business in the beginning because people stayed home to watch this new amazing thing called television.”
While things were going smoothly at first, the crew told the trio around 20 minutes into the taping that the cameras “were not registering” anything. So, they had no choice but to start all over again.
"Milton Berle turns to me and says, ‘Looks like I’m on,’ ” Crystal went on to recount. “He then asks for a — ‘Give me a mic, give me a mic!’ So, now he goes out in front of the audience and he does a bunch of time, and it’s just hilarious, but weird.”
"He’s doing it, he’s walking on his ankles, he’s doing everything,” he continued. ‘And he finishes, comes back, we give him a standing ovation, and he looks at me, and he slaps me in the face."
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Clarifying that the unexpected punch was purely for laughs, Crystal said that Berle then invited him over to his house to “smoke some dope” and see his impression ofJerry Lewisdirecting a movie — which may involve another comedic punch.
While Crystal simply said that he was looking forward to it at the time, the pair ended up bumping into each other a few weeks later while thePrincess Brideactor was grabbing dinner with comedian Alan King at Los Angeles restaurant Spago.
“Alan King is facing me, so Alan can’t see Milton," he explained, noting that Berle kept popping his head up to make absurd noises while sitting behind him. "Then there was the cigar under the upper lip. This went on forever and ever and ever, and I’m just dying.”
Eventually, Berle finished his meal and walked over to Crystal’s table, setting the scene for his Jerry Lewis impression.
"Now, listen, your wife has left you, you’re lonely, you’ve been drinking too much. Life is meaningless,” Crystal recalled Berle saying, occasionally slipping into an over-the-top impression of the late comedian. "You’re in a hotel all by yourself, right? You have to reach inside yourself, Bill."
“Just think about any loss in your life, any pain. You have to summon it and say, ‘This really is sucky,’ ” he continued in Berle’s voice. "And then he got up and he slapped me in the face again. He hipped me into the ground.”
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